It's My Pity Party (Playlist) & I'll Cry If I Want To
Last week was one of those weeks.
You know the ones right? The ones where your office floods but you’ve still got a major meeting that you need to pull stuff together for. The ones where your best friend has the flu and you’re a bit of a germaphobe so you spend the week wondering if your throat’s just dry because it’s winter or if you’re actually dying. The ones where you put on blue tights by accident in the morning instead of black tights and you don’t realize until you only have an hour left of work and you’re wondering “why do I even own navy blue tights?”
Oh, those might be too personal of examples. Basically last week was one of those weeks – terrible, rotten, no good, very bad. So I did what you need to do sometimes and I threw myself a little pity party. Attendees included a box of hostess cupcakes, my very sympathetic dog and my headphones.
In an effort to be a little more respecting of my body, I’ve been on a steady change of medicating with really guilty Spotify playlists (and prescribed meds) vs. self-medicating with large glasses of wine and retail therapy, so I thought I’d share my perfect formula for a pity party playlist.
- Start sad.
Do you have some songs that make you cry no matter what? Start with those. For me, it’s “Don’t Wanna Be Your Girl,” “Pills N Potions,” and “Walking in Memphis.” Sure the majority of these songs deal with relationship issues and most of my pity parties are related to work or general anxiety – but hey, they get the tears flowing and – in the words of someone wiser than me: “Maybe crying is a means of cleaning yourself out emotionally."
- Get a little angry.
So, I tend to get a lot angry, which is definitely one of my weaknesses. But personally, I think channeling your anger into songs can be super helpful and I'm definitely trying to work on how reactive I can be. For example, remember the song “Spaceship” by Kanye West? Yep, back before Kanye was Kanye, (well he was always Kanye, but let’s just say pre-Yeezy Kardashian ‘Ye) he worked at the Gap and he was pretty pissed about it. Listening to Spaceship always helps when I’m angry – mainly because it has nothing to do with my situation but it’s got a great beat and helps me feel angry without letting it overtake me. Honorary mentions? “Jolene,” always and forever, and “Breakin’ Dishes.”
- Be a bit petty.
So, sometimes you get a little petty. Something I've been working on is processing my petty pity parties through Spotify playlists versus, say, Twitter. Sometimes you need to get your frustrations out and blasting some sassy music while walking home can be way better than calling someone out, even if you think it’s a really good comeback. My song recommendations for this? “Bonfire,” “You Are Everything” and “The Patron Saint of Liars and Fakes.” I’m sure someone, somewhere will have an opinion on me openly admitting that I use Spotify to be petty in private, but you know what? I’ll just play “Bonfire” a few times in a row while I work out. Allowing yourself a moment of petty behavior in a playlist is a-ok in my book, especially if it allows you to move on without putting negative crap out into the world. Basically, what I'm saying is, it’s my personal playlist, I can have a bratty moment if I want to.
- Fake it til you make it, man.
- Appreciate yourself.
I usually end my pity parties with songs that make me feel good about myself – you know, songs that pump me up and inspire me to put on my best face and remind me that nothing can truly defeat me unless I allow it to. “Public Service Announcement,” “Who Says” and “Rill, Rill” are songs that always put a smile on my face – so I listen to those until the good feelings overpower the bad.
So yeah – get the tears flowing, get a little angry, allow yourself to be a little petty, fake it til you make it and appreciate yourself. It’s totally healthy to be in touch with your grief. It’s totally normal to be overwhelmed, to be hurt by people, to be just completely over the day, the week, whatever. And sure, there are tons of other ways to get handle issues - this is just one of mine that I thought I'd share. Pity party playlists should never replace medication, therapy, ect. To me, they're just a way to work through some feelings when those other options aren't quite as accessible.
What’s your ideal pity party playlist look like?