So, I took a little time off to recharge my brain and emotions – and also to reorganize this entire site setup. This winter was pretty heavy for me, if you couldn’t already tell from my winter posts, and I felt like I was blogging in a haze – like my heart and mind weren’t really into anything I was writing. I actually thought I had escaped winter without having too much trouble, then we were hit with a major cold front and I just crashed.
But hey, now it’s officially spring, I’m turning 30 this month and I realized I was over feeling defeated. I started this blog to discuss the anxiety of adulthood, but also to bring attention to the things that made me feel like I could handle anything. I wanted to get back to that girl – the one who wanted to share her experiences, her happiness, her development – so I took a few weeks to write and figure out what I needed to do to accomplish that.
So here I am, back in your feeds, ready to put some positive vibes out into the universe.
I’ve been having conversations with people whose opinions I admire to figure out what I want to accomplish with this blog. I’ve been asking my followers more and more what sort of content they’re interested in seeing. The goal of this blog is not to boost my reach, or gain any sort of popularity or success. I’m more interested in the quality of what I’m posting over the quantity of my posts.
When I was in high school, I used to collage my walls with images and writing that made me feel happy, strong and complete. My room represented the best version of myself – who I was and who I believed I could be. It didn’t matter what trends were currently popular or what style was the most socially acceptable. My room was a place where I could be myself and I could flourish as needed. I want to take that vibe and capture it in my blog. I want to share the things I think are cool, I want to share the outfits that make me feel badass, I want to talk about the experiences I’ve had – the good and the bad.
I want this blog to be a collage of myself – of who I am now and who I hope to be – and I want it to be a safe space where you, as readers, can come with comments, questions and thoughts. The world can be a scary, nasty place. I’ve experienced more judgment through social media than I ever have in any other aspect of my life, and this winter I let it beat me down. I let it control me. I let myself cower and hide and felt constantly sorry for myself. I let people bait me and my emotions, and overwhelm me.
And I’m tired of it. I’m tired of feeling sad. I’m tired of feeling like the girl in high school who doesn’t know who to sit with at lunch. I’m tired of feeding into the role of powerless victim. I’m tired of hiding from posting on this medium, because in the past few weeks the support I’ve received from you all has inspired me to stand up, brush my shoulders off and get back to work.
Thanks for reading, and thank you for your constant love,
I’m listening to … Passionfruit by Drake
I’m reading … Everything You Want Me To Be by Mindy Mejia
I’m looking forward to … The Society of Excellent Women collab with Emo Night Baltimore!
I’m quoting ... Dolly Parton. “I’m not going to limit myself just because people won’t accept the fact that I can do something else.”